Here is a link to my COPY
Main Point:
My paragraphs did well to present a main idea in all of them, with the exception of the conclusion, which has multiple smaller ideas scattered throughout it. The main points help to dictate each of the paragraphs as well as tie the entire paper together.
Development of Main Point:
My development of these points fell pretty short because of my failure to produce any direct evidence. The paragraphs have a tendency to go from main point directly to conclusions about it (such as effectiveness and relation to audience), which doesn't make much sense without evidence to develop the main point and it's conclusions.
Internal Organization:
The essay has a very clear, repeated structure that makes it easy to understand, but it does not have a particular mode of organization as described in Rules for Writers. The closest is that it may resemble in some way cause and effect due to the conclusive nature of the paragraphs endings.
Coherent Ideas:
My ideas are generally coherent but because of my lack of evidence, it's hard to find a logical progression from a main idea to a conclusion about it. I failed to see that as I was writing because I knew so well what I was writing about. I will have to elaborate on how ideas relate to one another with more evidence so my reader may follow my conclusions.
Smooth Transitions:
This particular subject of focused helped me realize that my transition were lacking in fluidity. My ideas were so structured and linear that they did not transition into one another very well. It ended up being choppy and ridged when read, making it an unpleasant paper. I do need to add some descriptors and transitions just for the sake of transition fluidity.
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| Javier, "Scaffolding" 1/18/15 via Flickr.com |
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